Post Traumatic Stress Disorder / Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome

Several studies have been done on the cycle of sexual abuse--that is, the likelihood that child victims of sexual abuse will become adult abusers. Most of the studies were retrospective in design. The studies began with a sample of known sex offenders of children and sought to determine whether they were sexually abused during childhood. The chief weakness of these studies is that studying a known group of sexual offenders cannot provide any direct information on the extent to which children who are sexually abused become adult sexual abusers. The two studies GAO reviewed that were prospective in design attempted to overcome this limitation by identifying samples of sexually victimized children and tracking them into adulthood. These studies also had shortcomings, which made it hard to reach any definitive conclusions about the cycle of sexual abuse. Despite these limitations, the retrospective studies, prospective studies, and research reviews suggest that childhood sexual victimization is quite likely neither a necessary nor a sufficient cause of adult sexual offending. Further research would be needed to determine which experiences magnify the likelihood that sexually victimized children will become adult abusers and, alternatively, what experiences help prevent victimized children from becoming adult abusers.

Adult survivors of childhood sex abuse

By the time a survivor of childhood abuse reaches adulthood, a great deal of damage may have occurred. This damage often appears to be unrelated to the abuse. Problems that adult survivors experience often motivate them to seek spiritual direction and perhaps pastoral or professional help.
The problems or damage from abuse are called the “secondary symptoms” of abuse. Rarely do survivors seek help for the actual abuse. It is more common for them to seek help because of these secondary symptoms. At the heart of the secondary symptoms, however, are the unresolved issues that result from being sexually abused. These secondary symptoms can threaten the stability of marriages, the ability to appropriately parent, and the vulnerability required to establish a trust relationship with God.
Many adult survivors are well into their late 20s before they realize they have problems. Often, by the time they seek help, their problems are complex, their relationships are troubled and they are in chaos. Their greatest need is to be understood, believed, accepted and respected.

Childhood and adolescent sexual abuse damages a developing human being. Listed below are some common secondary symptoms of abuse survivors. This list is not comprehensive, nor do all abuse survivors manifest these behaviors. However, many of these symptoms are present in older teens and adults who’ve experienced sex abuse.

Anger management problems
Isolation and loneliness
Depression
Eating disorders (anorexia, bulimia, food hoarding, overeating, etc.)
Body image problems
Workaholic
Substance abuse
Sexual dysfunction or confusion
Self-mutilation (cutting, burning, etc.)
Sleep disorders
Hypervigilance
Anxiety and fear
Dysfunctional relationships
Spiritual void or disillusionment
Difficulty concentrating
Performance-based self-value
Intimacy problems
Trust issues
Poor self-image
Disconnection from self, others and God
Stress-related physical problems
Poor or impaired parenting skills

What is sex abuse?

Researchers differ on statistics related to sex abuse. For instance, some researchers define sex abuse as nonconsensual intercourse between adults or any intercourse between adults and children. Some differentiate between adult/child non-coital activity — inappropriate touching or exhibitionism, for instance — with full intercourse; others combine them all.
A great deal of attention has been given to clergy abuse, yet reliable figures are hard to come by. In one unscientific poll conducted by the Minneapolis Star Tribune, 6 percent of Minnesotans said they knew someone who was a victim of clergy sex abuse — with no difference among Catholics, Protestants or other religions. Yet a more scientific annual survey of 1,000 churches serving 75,000 congregants, conducted by Christian Ministry Resources (CMR), said an average of 1 percent reported a case of clergy abuse in their congregations, with the highest percentage being just under 4 percent in 1996. CMR’s survey also showed that abusers were much more likely to be volunteers or other church staff rather than pastors or priests.
Clergy abuse notwithstanding, the scandals of 2002 reveal the basic issue surrounding sex abuse: the perpetrator is almost never the stereotypical stranger with candy. Rather, it is usually someone the victim and his or her family knew and trusted: a relative, neighbor, clergy member, camp counselor, teacher, doctor or therapist and so on.
Many studies take into account the unreliability of traumatic memories. A common factor among abused children is memory repression. Some victims seeking help are quite vulnerable to suggestion, leading to a number of false accusations against innocent adults after unscrupulous or careless therapists “implanted” false memories. The American Psychiatric Association, for instance, has issued guidelines that caution therapists against suggesting to patients that unspecific complaints might be the result of repressed memories.
Further muddying the water is the issue of consent. A sexual assault program at the University of Miami, for instance, points out that plaintiffs and accusers in date rape cases are often inebriated during the incident, calling the accuser’s consent — or lack thereof — into question. In addition, while sexual contact with an 8-year-old will probably involve force or coercion, a 17-year-old could lie about her age and initiate sexual contact with an adult — leaving the adult open to a charge of statutory rape.
Abuse victims are more often female; though many times abused males find it more difficult to recover from sex abuse than do females. A recent U.S. Dept of Health Population Report stated one in three women worldwide has been a victim at least once in her lifetime, although the report has been accused of casting its net too wide, as it groups verbal, emotional and economic abuse with violence, rape and childhood sex abuse.

Sex abuse, especially in children, can lead to a number of problems that may be difficult to trace back to the abuse, including:

A greatly increased risk of eating disorders
Promiscuity and irresponsible, unsafe sexual behaviors
Depression
Drug abuse and/or alcoholism
Increased risk for contracting sexually transmitted diseases
Difficulty in sexual relationships within marriage
Psychiatric ailments, including anxiety disorders, affective disorders, dissociative disorders and personality disorders.

While these symptoms are often associated with sexual abuse, parents and others should be careful to explore a variety of possibilities for one or more of these symptoms. There isn’t an established “profile” that guarantees someone has been abused.
American Psychiatric Association studies also indicate that, assuming a direct family member was not the perpetrator, a child’s adjustment to and healing from the trauma of sex abuse relies most on a healthy, strong family. Similarly, healthy relationships, especially marriages, are crucial to adult victims’ recovery

Feelings and Questions That Lead to Freedom by Sallie Culbreth

Abuse has a way of controlling your life. It does a lot of damage, even if you don’t think it was “that big of a deal.” All abuse (physical, emotional, spiritual and sexual) is worthy of being addressed.
There are many excellent resources to help you take the first steps toward freedom. You may feel anxious, as if you need to find something to help you right now. The best place to begin is at the beginning.
First, it is important for you to know that you are normal! Abuse is what is not normal. You have been intimately wounded. Everyone responds differently, but there seem to be some feelings and experiences that are common among survivors:

Isolation or loneliness. That terrible sensation that no one understands you … no one “gets it.” You may feel like an alien visitor from another planet, as if you’ve been dropped to earth with no preparation to live here. Many of us (abuse survivors) feel very alone, even in a crowded room or around people we live with and love. That sense of isolation exists because abuse taught you to be silent, to carry your secrets and experiences by yourself. The shame, fear and guilt attached to the abuse energize the isolation. Because of the twisted nature of sexual abuse and the dysfunctional relationships that many of us grew up with, we have no sense of what “normal” is. You may socialize well and know what to do, but there is often a huge lonely ache inside that no one else can see. Intimacy is terrifying for an abuse survivor. It is one of the many broken places that remain long after the abuse ends.

Sexual confusion or dysfunction. Sexual abuse is not only abuse, it is also sexual. Your abusers became your sexual mentors. They taught you to perform, to lie, to devalue or degrade yourself, and to connect abnormal sexual experiences with normal longings for intimacy and touch. Many of us have a strong sense that our bodies betrayed us because we experienced pleasure or gained something because of the abuse. As a result, we, as sexual beings, approach our sexuality and sexual experiences with confusion. It feels as if everything in life is about sex. This is true on both ends of the sexual spectrum. If you are a sex addict and constantly crave risk-taking, degrading sexual experiences, it’s all about sex. On the other end, if you are repulsed by sex, avoid sexual experiences and despise your own sexuality, it is still all about sex.

Sexual abuse survivors struggle to accept touch without associating it with sex. Sex is frequently used as a way to either avoid intimacy or express rage or power (either by withholding or giving). Sexual abuse survivors frequently have problems experiencing orgasm, even when they willingly participate in sex. Often, we do not know what to do with the “sexual ache” that drives us into sexual relationships or experiences. Once sex begins, it becomes very confusing as your mind, spirit and body cease to work together. Then pleasure, gratification, or fulfillment seem lost in the chaos. You and your partner frequently end up using, wounding, or abandoning each other because the lessons of abuse are so deeply rooted in you.



Anger management problems. Rage is a frequent problem for abuse survivors. It is generally expressed in one of three ways. Some people lash out at other people, using their anger to control circumstances. Others keep it inside and beat themselves up, instead. And some people do both — lash out at others and rage at themselves. This anger stems from deep hurt, extreme frustration, or fear. To control the anger (either internally or externally) can be exhausting. Frequently, survivors feel so overwhelmed that they give up even trying to manage it.

Body image and treatment. Most of us have concluded that our bodies are the enemy — something to be treated harshly or without respect. We don’t necessarily do this at a conscious level, but we express it with our lifestyles. We either eat too much, too quickly, or we starve ourselves. Some of us abuse drugs or alcohol. Perhaps you hurt yourself with self-inflicted wounds or work so much that you are beyond exhaustion. Many of us feel completely disconnected from our bodies and never pay attention to our body language. We don’t know if we’re hungry or tired; in pain or pleasure; we are well-practiced at ignoring or silencing our physical needs. You may push and push and push yourself, or numb yourself with food, drugs or sex. As you journey toward freedom, you must understand that your body did not betray you; your abuser(s) betrayed you.

Ineffective expression of needs or longings. Abuse teaches you that your needs, longings and opinions do not matter (at least not to your abusers). Abuse changes the way you express yourself. Many of us struggle to express our true needs or longings. We cloak our desires because of the pain experienced when those longings were mishandled by others. At the same time, those needs and longings still exist and beg to be heard. Perhaps your need to be held as a child was frequently met at the expense of abuse, so you learned to hate what you needed. But the dilemma remains: You still have needs and longings. Because of this inner conflict, desires are often expressed in ineffective or destructive ways. We alienate people through unreasonable demands, silence, or abusive manipulation. Learning to balance the pressure of unmet needs with effective expression and respect are challenges that survivors must confront.

“Escape” mentality. When you were abused, you had to find a way to cope. Many of us learned to escape, mentally, by “checking out” of reality and entering a self-created fantasy world in order to avoid truth. This coping mechanism established patterns of living that are no longer serving you well. Rather than embracing life and doing the hard work of taking ownership of who you are, you use trusted escape routes that have alienated you from relationships, career, school, or God. You may wrap a cocoon of sleep, TV, work, drugs, books, video games, etc., around you to avoid life and people. This may feel safe to you, but you may place yourself in situations that are harmful or self-defeating because you are so unaware of what’s going on. It is a challenge to remain focused on reality in order to make good decisions or take healthy actions.



Damaged spirit. Abuse rips apart the spiritual life of a survivor. The very thing that God placed in us to connect, spiritually, is detached or re-wired to create a sense of meaningless existence or hopelessness. Even if you have pursued a relationship with God, there may be an underlying struggle to feel spiritually alive. Repairing the spiritual damage caused by abuse is an integral part of the journey toward wholeness. It is full of difficult questions and an intimate sense of betrayal. At the same time, in the core of your heart, is a hunger for something better, for something bigger than the cruelty, perversion and evil you experienced through abuse. It is this hunger that propels many of us to re-establish the broken connection between God and us. In the face of all that is wrong, there is a tiny flicker of God’s love that begs to be fanned into a flame of spiritual vitality. Ultimately, evil can motivate us to pursue something better — to pursue faith, hope and love.

Questions. Abuse burns tough questions into the souls of its victims. Why is there evil? Why do bad things happen to innocent children? Where was God, and why wasn’t I protected? Where were my protectors — mother, father, family and friends? Do I really want out of my angst, or do I want to remain a victim where I know the rules of engagement? Why can’t I remember big parts of my childhood? How do I move beyond what was done to me? When will the pain and chaos end?

These are only a few of the questions you will probably ask at some point in your journey toward wholeness. They are questions that are worthy of thoughtful exploration. Some questions will receive a satisfactory answer. Others will never be adequately answered: It is both the glory and the frustration of breaking free from the past. The ultimate question you must ask yourself is this: Am I a cynic or a seeker? Do I really want to find solutions or do I want to cross my arms in stubborn determination to remain unchanged?

The great exchange
The process of moving beyond your abuse involves an exchange. You will need to exchange the lies that abuse taught you about yourself, the world and God, for truth. Truth about your worth. Truth that yes, there is evil, but there is also good in the world. Truth that spiritual wholeness is not a fantasy, it is the reality of relationship with God. This is a long, difficult process, but it is not an impossible one.

800-656-HOPE

About RAINN
The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) is the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization and has been ranked as one of “America’s 100 Best Charities by Worth magazine.
National Sexual Assault Hotline
This nationwide partnership of more than 1,100 local rape treatment hotlines provides victims of sexual assault with free, confidential services around the clock. The hotline helped 133,000 sexual assault victims in 2004 and has helped more than 900,000 since it began in 1994.